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Tuesday, 04 August 2009

moved to traceofredundancy.blogspot.com.

Saturday, 25 July 2009

Living Vicariously

Merriam Webster defines vicarious as "experienced or realized through imaginative or sympathetic participation in the experience of another."

Sometimes I find that I tend to live life through others too much and not live enough of life on my own. I am an open book containing the most interesting and entertaining adventures of everyone but my own. I feel like maybe sometimes my sheltered lifestyle and my overbearing parents are just an excuse to not try new things, not to explore, just to stay comfortable and content where I am, the way I am.

I realized that I really like to read other people's blogs just because its interesting to find out what they spend their time doing, to gaze into their thoughts and vulnerabilities, to see their personality spelled out in words. I was skimming through Helen's today. Shes is so amazing. But anyways, I found something cool on her sidebar that I wanted to share. I guess you could say it inspired this post.

A ship in a harbour is safe - but thats not what ships are for.
--John A. Shedd

I wish I could say it changed me. But change is something easier said than done.

Friday, 19 June 2009

BACK FROM COLLEGE!

Another year over, yay. Except I don't feel any different. Very anticlimactic. It's kind of like birthdays. "Well that's another year that I won't get back" haha.

I actually set some goals coming into summer so hopefully we'll see at least half of these completed by the middle of September so that I can say that this summer wasn't completely wasted.

1. Practice piano
2. Pick up guitar?
3. Get a job/volunteer
4. Summer school?
5. Get a license
6. Learn some cooking
7. Be more disciplined in qts
8. Find a home church

1 and 2 are in progress. Johnny brought up with me the prospect of maybe joining praise team next year? We'll see. Lots of prayer still required. I haven't considered joining a praise team since..8th grade. Woot. Haha I busted out my mom's guitar from the closet and at first was like WHY ARE HALF THE STRINGS PLASTIC?? but then I found out oh haha they're just nylon. Good job me. I tuned it with youtube loll and eric taught me a few chords on videochat yay technology!

3 I'm sort of slacking off on...it doesn't help that I started out the summer sick and ended up sleeping 30 hours in 2 days woohoo. Lots of sleep debt from last quarter to catch up on.. but at least I'll have a job coming into the new school year. Hurray!

Is it bad that I don't want to do 4 because I want to take it at school with other people even though summer school would my parents money and would save me time and I already looked up and found out which courses are transferrable?

5 would be great considering not having one is completely USELESS.

6 is necessary for the future. I love eating. And eventually you gotta cook if you want to eat.

7 I am proud to say I'm doing pretty good on. yay.

For 8 I'm pretty glad to say YAY I have Sharon and we're going church hopping together. It's been a while. Time to get plugged back in though. Hopefully parents will be supportive.

Father's Day is Sunday. I really need to work on what I'm going to give my dad. Hrmm.

Friday, 08 May 2009

Confrontation

When a good friend does something to irritate or offend you, do you hit them with the blunt truth or let it go?

It feels like if the offense pertained to something you actually considered significant, a real friend would want to hear the truth, no matter what the truth entailed. But on the other hand there is the whole concept of just "being the better person" and forgetting about it. But is it really "letting it go" when you only act like you don't mind on a surface level? If you truly aren't comfortable, isn't it better just to confront that person?

God commands us to love our neighbor. But would loving my neighbor mean letting them know they hurt me? Because communication is a sign of trust and a sign that you care enough to tell someone what you really think or feel. Or would loving my neighbor mean just not saying anything about it and bottling it up inside?

Because for me, its only easy to disregard and forget things when I couldn't care less about the person who said them.

Sorry my thoughts are so jumbled/vague/immature. I had to unload them somewhere because I'm currently learning that to feel better I don't always have to complain to someone, especially if those complaints wouldn't be edifying to them. Back to reading Classics.

Friday, 10 April 2009

Why I Choose Not to Drink

Sometimes I wonder what kind of drunk I'd be. One of my friends thinks I'd just be the kind that just giggles a lot. I think it would be hilarious to watch a tipsy me. And when it comes down to it I really do think I'm the type who would probably would have a good time living that kind of lifestyle, but in the end I still choose to say no. Why?

Because I see nothing alcohol could offer me that could possibly be better than what I already have.

I'm loving life right now. God is good. I have amazing friends. As I get older I'm more and more thankful for my family. School is a pain, but when is it ever not? The way I see it, the best possible outcome of drinking is a night of "freedom" and "fun". But at the same time the possibility still stands that it also could jeopardize any of the things listed above. Why would any sane person want to risk that for a temporary and fake high? You might not even remember what happened the night before. Or maybe you'd just wish you didn't. It's all the same to me.

Besides, I need my inhibitions. Hahaha.

Disclaimer: I'm not trying to judge people here. All above statements are my personal beliefs as they apply to myself and, as you can see, not based on personal experience.